Anyone Up for Jello Wrestling?
by nightriderbrat
Summary: Daniel will regret the day he suggested having jello wrestling at the SGC picnic.


_Hello everyone! My muse has decided to stick around for awhile. I've been able to write two stories today; this one and "A Christmas to Remember". Unfortunetly for me, my muse picks the worst times to show up. This story was an idea I've had for a long time but never had my muse long enough to write it. I wrote this very late at night (or very early in the morning, depending on how you look at it) so please bare with me. I hope you like it. PLEASE REVIEW! Thank you!  
_

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It was that time again; time to pick the activities for the annual SGC spring picnic. The entire base was buzzing with ideas about what to do. Some people wanted to bring back the usual games like the three-legged race, pie eating contest (which Jack usually won), and wood chopping contest. The wood chopping was _very_ old fashioned but the men liked to prove how macho they were by chopping the most wood in the shortest amount of time. The more "civilized" people, mostly the scientists, wanted a decathlon full of mathematical and scientific mumbo-jumbo.

This year, a new idea had come about that was beginning to turn heads. Jack knew he had to nip it in the butt. If word got out about this he'd be dead meat for sure!

Jack tried, once again, to get Daniel to shut up. He had forgotten just how impossible that was. Once Daniel had an idea in his head he wouldn't let it go.

"Daniel, we are NOT having jello wrestling at the SGC picnic! I don't care how much you enjoyed it when you, me, and Teal'c did it!"

"But JACK!" Daniel whined.

"NO! Carter would _KILL_ me if she ever found out about that!"

Hammond shook is head in disappointment. "I guess it's a good thing I burned those video tapes."

Teal'c sat with his hands together in his usual fashion. "Indeed."

At that precise moment, Samantha Carter entered the room. "What's this I hear about jello wrestling at the picnic?"

"Dang it! How'd she find out?" Jack muttered to himself.

Daniel sunk in his chair. "I don't know what you're talking about Sam."

Realizing Sam was not talking to him, Jack relaxed. But why was she giving Daniel the death glare? "Carter?"

Without taking her eyes off Daniel, she answered. "It's nothing sir."

"Sure doesn't look like nothing."

Sam removed her fiery glare from Daniel's pale face. "It's nothing. I'm sure you guys will come up with a great activity for the picnic." She gave Daniel one last glower before leaving the room.

Everyone sat in shock. Jack looked over at Daniel who was slowly recovering. "Danny boy, do you have anything you'd like to share with the class?" Everyone turned their gaze to Daniel who was once again sinking into his chair.

"Dang. I knew this was going to come back and bite me in the butt!"

"Yes Doctor Jackson, I'm curious." Hammond prodded. Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

Daniel sat up in his seat and tried to act as cool as possible. That was difficult though considering that he's just been practically hiding under the table. "Like Sam said, it's nothing." He stood up and quickly left the room. He hurried off to Sam's lab before anyone had time to call him back.

Once in Sam's lab, though, he began to wish he was back in the briefing room with the rest of his teammates. Sam was scowling at him. She began coming toward him with a foreign and dangerous looking device in her hand.

"Ah? Sam?" Daniel covered his face with his arms, hoping she'd have mercy on him.

"What did you tell them?" She stopped only inches away from him.

"Nothing. Nothing. I swear I didn't tell them a thing!"

"Then why did you suggest jello wrestling?"

"I…I just thought it'd be fun. I swear I didn't say anything about you."

Sam lowered her makeshift weapon and placed it on a table. She walked to her bookshelf, removed several books and dug around in the back of the shelf before pulling out a VHS tape. She blew the dust off of it and handed it to a trembling Daniel.

"I'm trusting you to destroy this. If anyone found out about this I'd be ruined."

Daniel nodded. Not only would she be ruined but she'd torture him until he died a slow and painful death. Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn!

He stuffed the tape into his jacket and ran to his lab. The sooner he got there the better. He didn't want to talk to Sam, Jack, Teal'c or anyone. He wanted to destroy the tape before someone saw it and Sam destroyed him.

In his hast to get to his lab, Daniel ran straight into Siler. The armful of video tapes he was carrying flew through the air and clattered to the floor. Daniel fell on top of the videos as Siler fell on his butt.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't see you." Daniel apologized as he helped Siler pick up the videos.

"Don't worry about it Doctor Jackson." Siler retrieved his glasses and placed them back on his face. Taking the videos from Daniel, he hurried off to do his duties.

Daniel walked slower as he made his way to his lab. He didn't want anymore accidents.

When he finally entered his office he shut the door and locked it. Pulling out a massive shredder, Daniel reached into his jacket for the video tape Sam had given him. His eyes widened in horror when he couldn't feel the tape. He couldn't believe that in the short distance from Sam's lab to his he had managed to lose the tape.

He collapsed into his chair as he realized that Siler must have it. He must have dropped the tape when he bumped into Siler. "Oh no! They are probably watching those tapes right now!" Daniel jumped to his feet and ran to the security office.

"Has Siler been here?" Daniel asked as he stuck his head in the door of the office.

"Yeah. He just picked up yesterday's surveillance tapes. He went to the technician's lab to watch them."

"Thanks."

Daniel ran to the lab and sprang open the door just in time to see a jello-clad Samantha Carter pouncing another jello covered woman.

"Oh no. It's too late." Daniel entered the room and observed Siler, Walter and two other technicians as they stared at the television screen with their mouths hanging open. Sam had just picked up a huge handful of jello and shoved it into the other woman's mouth. As she struggled to swallow it, Sam grabbed her head and flung her to the other side of the plastic pool. Scores of cheering college-aged kids surrounded them, waving money in the air. The wrestling continued until the woman was lying on her back in the jello, giving in to her competitor. Sam lifted her arms in victory as large clumps of blue jello fell off her body. Colonel Samantha Carter, scientist and rulebook follower, was a jello wrestling champ!

Daniel slapped his forehead with his palm. He was _SO_ dead. He was deader than dead! He was going to be so dead that no matter what he did he wouldn't be able to come back this time!

"Hey guys. I, ah, need that tape back." They just continued to stare at the now blank screen. "Guys?"

He waved a hand in front of Walter's face but got no response. Walking up to the VCR, Daniel took the tape out. He went over to a work bench and picked up a heavy tool, then beat the tape until tiny plastic pieces covered the counter. He picked up a trash can and held it to the table, sweeping the pieces into it.

"Don't say a word to anyone, you hear me?" The technicians glanced at him and then back to the TV screen. "I mean it. Sam would kill us if she found out!" They nodded and he hoped that they had really heard.

--

Word spread quickly of a top secret, fund raising game that would be present at the SGC picnic. No one knew what it was, not even General Hammond, except for a rather cocky group of technicians. They appeared very happy with themselves and were determined to keep their plot a secret, no matter how many people begged to know details.

The day of the picnic finally came and everyone was excited with anticipation. A large area in one corner of the park that had been marked off was now beginning to draw a crowd. Whispered rumors zoomed around about what lay beneath the blue tarp that was hiding the top secret game.

The technicians made their way through the crowd and took their places at a corner of the tarp. Walter stepped forward and announced with a loud voice and wide grin, "Welcome everyone. As you all know our game is a fund raiser. You may be wondering what you will be paying to see. Well…" He threw a smile to his comrades. "You will be paying to watch two officers wrestle in this pool of jello!"

All four technicians took their corner of the tarp and yanked it back, revealing a child's plastic pool full of blue jello. Voices erupted and eyes ogled.

"So who wants to wrestle?" Siler called out.

No one answered and Siler frowned. "No one?" He looked around and spotted Daniel who looked like he was having a heart attack. "I nominate Samantha Carter!"

Voices erupted again as cries of agreement rang out. Sam glared at Daniel who was now cowering behind a nearby tree.

"Daniel! You—are—dead!" But before she could do anything, several pairs of hands grabbed her and pulled her toward the pool. Another female officer was already preparing to enter the jello.

Smirking, Walter handed Sam some goggles and ducked as she tried to swing at him. Off on the sidelines, Jack waved a finger at her. "Ah ah ah. Play nice." She glared at him as the men pushed her into the ring.

"This," Jack said as he handed Walter a bill, "was going to be good." He went over to Daniel and stuffed another bill into his front pocket. "Thanks Danny Boy."

Daniel pulled out the bill and examined the amount. "Any time Jack." He decided that at that price, he could deal with a little pain from Sam.


End file.
